ugh, my favorite blog from her. STORY OF MY LIFE.
I feel like stuffing my head in a fucking pillow and not coming up for air. I'm drowning in my own miserable pity anyways, so really, what's the difference? People underestimate me, people mistake my kindess for weakness (Mr. Adams quote), my parent's think I'm an untrustworthy lunatic incapable of being safe and my boyfriend considers playing Pokemon a much more important task than listening to me relinquish all of my problems.
I understand that I can sometimes be overbearing, persistent and selfish, but are those not qualities everyone else possess? I truly wish that people would just stop acknowledging me as the pale girl with no backbone. The snide quips that are implied as jokes are getting a little vexing and the anger that's directed towards me for no legitimate reason is beginning to irritate me. I try to look past all the chafe comments but continuing to be the bigger person is becoming a task too difficult to complete. This in turn just leads to a plethora of pent-up anger that is usually let out by detrimental means. I get the urge to scream into my pillow until my insides have been gagged out and cry until my eyes can no longer open. This frustration is only increased when my parents decide to deny me the one privilege I worked and payed so much to attain while using the excuses of "you're not safe" or "you're not familiar with your surroundings." A big "fuck you" goes out to them and and everyone else who thinks that bringing me down should be a past time. Even my own boyfriend, who according to yesterday, "loved me more than anything" deems playing Pokemon more imperative than helping me feel better. I extremely dislike the fact that whenever he is in need of me, I drop everything to be at his side immediately. This seems too impossible for him to attempt and therefor leads to Pokemon-playing.
The jokes thrown my way, the vehicle denial and refusal do to Pokemon would all be very humerus if these things were in fact not happening to me. Alas, the jokes sometimes hurt, the driving abstinence occasionally makes me cry and the guy I'm in love deems a bunch of fictitious creatures on a screen more valuable than my feelings. This all just make me want to become a nun and seclude myself within thick, stone walls.
I understand that I can sometimes be overbearing, persistent and selfish, but are those not qualities everyone else possess? I truly wish that people would just stop acknowledging me as the pale girl with no backbone. The snide quips that are implied as jokes are getting a little vexing and the anger that's directed towards me for no legitimate reason is beginning to irritate me. I try to look past all the chafe comments but continuing to be the bigger person is becoming a task too difficult to complete. This in turn just leads to a plethora of pent-up anger that is usually let out by detrimental means. I get the urge to scream into my pillow until my insides have been gagged out and cry until my eyes can no longer open. This frustration is only increased when my parents decide to deny me the one privilege I worked and payed so much to attain while using the excuses of "you're not safe" or "you're not familiar with your surroundings." A big "fuck you" goes out to them and and everyone else who thinks that bringing me down should be a past time. Even my own boyfriend, who according to yesterday, "loved me more than anything" deems playing Pokemon more imperative than helping me feel better. I extremely dislike the fact that whenever he is in need of me, I drop everything to be at his side immediately. This seems too impossible for him to attempt and therefor leads to Pokemon-playing.
The jokes thrown my way, the vehicle denial and refusal do to Pokemon would all be very humerus if these things were in fact not happening to me. Alas, the jokes sometimes hurt, the driving abstinence occasionally makes me cry and the guy I'm in love deems a bunch of fictitious creatures on a screen more valuable than my feelings. This all just make me want to become a nun and seclude myself within thick, stone walls.
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