Believe me when I say that I got something for his punk ass.

I feel like Sheila and I resemble these two..

Except, Sheila never turned into a lesbian and shot someone's brother. And I didn't own a toy horse named Princess Sparkle nor did I save bunnies and name one Pancakes. I wish I did, though.

05/24/2010

Thoughts:

- I miss my grandparents.
- This weekends going to be great. Prom + my sister's coming to visit :)
- Birth-control pills were supposed to make m boobs bigger. God dammit, nothing works for me.
- Dear Kc, stop over-analyzing everything. The past is the past. I understand that you've been lied to about the same thing over and over again, but you're just digging yourself a hole that you will not be able to crawl out of. Whatever happens now, happens. Just breathe. Love, Brain.
- I want things with my boyfriend to go back to normal. This is haaarrddd.
- I bought this bathing suit from Pac Sun. It's pretty cute and I can't wait to swim in it.
- Forgive me, for I have sinned.
- I'm so homesick right now. After spending almost 2 years in Fremont, I learned that people in Canada are nicer, classier, less gangster, and white.
- My three day weekend was great, but i learned the lesson of not going to parties that are gonna have people you don't like there.
- I'M GRADUATING VERY SOON.
- I want to go on a date. Like, an adventurous all-day date that's NOT in Fremont
- I know my birthday is in three months, but all I'm asking for are two things: to go back to Canada and THE O.C Season DVDs
- I love music. FUCK! It's just too good.

Quote of the Day

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust noone but yourself, and sometimes... good things fall apart so better things can fall together." -Marilyn Monroe

**

Recounting pages in a book. That I'd torn out ashamed that one day you'd look.
Afraid that once you did you'd really know how it felt to be a sucker on a string that you dragged around wherever you'd go.
I'm running around, around and it hurts.
Tempted to tape up the pages I'd ripped.
And although I recognize that we're attached at the lips that you're the one in charge and that the captain's gotta sink with the ship.

Research Of The Day

Want to grow a beard faster? Think about sex.

Facial hair is largely governed by production of testosterone, which is known to be secreted by the testicles in greater quantities during and in anticipation of intercourse. Scientists have also found that increased beard growth was associated with tension, mental fatigue, alcohol and increased shaving. On the other hand, it is apparently curtailed by heavy exercise and high temperatures.



I knew there was a correlation ;)

**

You should have a guy that makes you happy, not upset.
Don't ever think that's too much to ask for.

I deleted this one toooooo

Try your very best to find all of the pictures asked for. Use Facebook or the pictures stored on your computer. If you can't find one, that's okay. But leave all questions in the survey for others to find.

1. A picture of you in your room.



2. A picture of the real you.




HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

3. A picture of a former crush.



-__-

4. A picture of you very drunk.



I miss this.

5. A picture of you with a parent or two.

6. A picture of you on your birthday, or your favorite holiday.

I spy with my little eyes...CLEAVAGE

7. The youngest picture you can find of yourself in digital form.

8. A picture of you in one of your favorite outfits.

I always thought I looked good in that dress.

9. A picture of you making a goofy face at the camera.

nooottt my goofiest.

10. A picture you might have edited to make yourself more attractive.

It worked! Right?

11. A picture of you and a team or club you were in.



GREEEASEE!

12. A picture of a night you regret


it WAS fun. buuut -____-

13. A picture of you showing off a new haircut.

new hairstyle count?

14. A picture of yourself that you hate.



i look like i'm dying

15. The most recent picture of you.

16. A picture of you being absolutely ridiculous.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

17. A picture you're tagged in on facebook that you aren't actually in.



18. A picture of a time in your life that's over, but you wish it wasn't.

19. A picture of a time in your life that's over, and you couldn't be more thankful that it is.

Don't have one.

20. A picture with your oldest friend.

21. A picture with your newest friend.



Not exactly the newest friend, but the one i care about most :)

22. A picture of you when you were anything but happy... even if you were smiling and did your best to hide it.



Homecoming? Nuff' saaaid.

23. A picture of you that you had no idea was being taken.



24. A picture of you when you were a different person than you are now.



25. A picture of you in a fashion "DON'T".

hahahahhahahahahaha

26. A picture of you taking a shot / chugging a beer / downing some sort of mixed drink.



Don't have one, but here's a result of me taking a shot :D

27. A picture of you with someone you love.

28. A picture of how you'd like the world to see you.



29. A picture that describes how you'd like to spend every day.



SING SING SING
30. A picture of a time when everything was changing.



I would do anything to go back to that summer.
Everything was so easy.

31. A picture that makes your heart hurt.

I'd rather not?

32. A picture that makes your heart smile

33. A picture of one of the best nights (or days) of your life


16th birthday. AHHH LEMME GO BACK LEMME GO BAAACCCKK :(

Written on February 7, 2010. But I Accidentally Deleted It

I love myself a whole lot more when I'm boring. The fact that I can have a good time being a blogger, a tea-drinker, a movie-watcher and a non-party(er) on a Friday night without feeling bored is really encouraging.

As much as I love being under the influence, going crazy, and being social, I now enjoy being sober, serene, and independent a whole lot more. Things are different when times are different. But for now, in this stressful but boring stage of my life, I'm better off doing my own thing.

I don't like things that I know aren't worth while. I don't like being a drunk, crazy girl anymore. I don't like when people I know hook up with other people and believe they're the shit. And I also don't like drugs - being around it just makes me feel gross, even if I'm NOT the one participating in it.

I know I've been all about changes and turning over a new leaf and becoming a better person and blah blah blah, but it's true. I've let myself get like this and it's up to me to get myself back to normal. I mean, I'm content with some stuff, but really resentful at others. If I accentuate my good qualities and lessen my negative ones, I think I'd feel a whole lot better with myself. I know for a fact better things would come too.

In All Honesty,

I'm so sick of this ongoing rut that I'm trying too hard to climb out of...

Shits And Giggles

Song(s) Of The Day

Melt With You by Modern English
Honey and the Moon by Joseph Arthur

Kudo to life and it's chapters.

It's kind of sinking in now that after next month I will be done high school forever. I'm reminiscing a lot lately; thinking about last year, the year before it, the year before that and perhaps even the year before that. It's weird, you start off being a little runt in the beginning of high school. In my case, with hair that was the same color as my face, then with spikey-'emo' hair, then bleach blond lady gaga hair, and the horrible eye makeup that made me look, well, like a little hoe. My ideals were completely different. I wanted to grow up too fast. I experimented with lifestyle choices much too many years in advance for my naive little thirteen year old self; I was a piece of shit. Then slowly, throughout the next few years, I found my spark. I went through a lot of ups and a lot of downs, lost, gained, witnessed sickness, health, infatuation, love, lust, betrayal, drama, boredom. I met specific people who I'll never forget and some that I'd pay money to forget, all while maintaining a specific Monday - Friday routine within the walls of a high school where I never really felt like I fit in, completely.
Though, I hate to say it, but a part of me wishes I would've given high school the chance it deserved when I still had time to enjoy it. Oh well, I guess it's better in the end that I'm better now, as opposed to being a good younger teen and a shitty, destructive older one.
I can't believe it's over soon! In September it'll start all over again. I'll feel like a small fish in a big pond with new people, new choices, new ideas, new life lessons, new mentalities and a new start.

p.s I haven't been this positive in a really long time. I like it.

Song Of The Day

Stole My Heart by Annie Little and Marcus Ashley

Song Of The Day

I'll Kill Her by Soko

Update: just listened to some of her other songs. I'm in love.

Secret #24

I always thought FTW was WHAT THE FUCK backwards. Only a month ago did I learn that it actually meant FOR THE WIN. durrrr

I'm feeling smart, talkative, and bored.

One day, swear to god, you'll learn how to be the same person in every situation you find yourself in. Yes, It does kinda sound possible and you think you have to morph and change and pretend and shift in every different situation you’re in- depending on the person you’re with: but it’s not true. If you're lucky (and by lucky i mean- if you grow up), you'll know who you are and be able to walk into any room and bring yourself with you- and not be scared. you'll be truly developed and 100% in your own skin. So, even though people and situations might bring out other sides of you, you won’t be a fake. because at the core, you will be the same person and solid in every environment you enter.

TURTLES

**

Life is for deep kisses,
strange adventures,
midnight swims and
rambling conversations.


p.s I want summer

Dear parents,

Hey, here's a fucking thought. You have a seventeen year old daughter who's had self-esteem issues her whole life and has worked her ass off for years to the point she's at. All she really wants is the same things as everyone else: good friends, a supportive family and a lovely boyfriend. You know that a lot of her "ruttish" behavior starts when those simple aspects get imbalanced. YET, you have nothing but NEGATIVE comments to say to her. I've been TRYING so HARD to make myself a more positive, happy person. CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE THIS?! How about fucking throwing a compliment my way once in a while instead of making me feel like shit? That'd be fucking remarkable. Oh, and stop beating around the bush because it just makes you sound even more like a DUMBASS.I'm sick of this shit. Fuck you. YOU guys are the reason why I have no back bone. I've depended on you guys so much that I can't think for MYSELF. I just want to be happy, but when I'm around you two I want to SHOOT MYSELF. Do me a favor and back off. I love you guys, but you two are constantly getting on my case for the stupidest reasons.

Thanks.

Quote Of The Day

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."