:(

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
FUCK FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCK
YOU
FUCK YOU
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT SHIT.

Isolation time.

I'm having an emotional breakdown. I'm exhausted, crying, and i'm unhappy with myself. I'm going to spend the next few days away from things that keep me connected to the world. So, goodbye internet, phone, aim, msn. Cell is off, signed out of aim/msn, aaand won't be signing on facebook or myspace or youtube. If you really wanna reach me, call my house phone (this is to you sheila. You're basically the only person i feel like talking to). I need time to myself to think about what the fuck i want and how i really feel about certain people and things around me. I don't know what's important anymore because of what's been going on and the crazy shit that people tell me about. I don't even know who the fuck i am anymore. It's like everything i've been doing, is for someone else, but me. I'm never fully happy because something or someone brings me down at the end of the day. I know that i'm a really sensitive person, but i dont think that's the problem. I'm just so frustrated with people. I'm not saying i'm perfect. I'm far from perfect. I'm saying that others need to open up their eyes and realize that they're not all that and to stop being so fucking ignorant of other's feelings. Grow the fuck up and realize how IMMATURE you actually are. Because in all honesty, i don't find half of the people i know mature. Sure, i can be a total annoying bitch who always wants to get their way, but when i feel that something is just totally uncalled for and wrong, then it probably is. shit, i'm going to sleep.


thanks.

p.s this rant was just so all over the place and half of it probably didn't make sense, but it makes sense to me. Also, this isn't directed to just one person, it's directed to a few. I'm a bitch, i know.
p.p.s I hate friends who are assholes and once they realize they're assholes, they suck up to you. Stfu, bitch. Don't take me for granted.

Quote Of The Day

"I'm losing myself trying to compete with everyone else, instead of just being me"-Demi Lovato

Herrrooo n___n

This is my child.

In All Honesty,

Days Like These.

I miss Dominic. I want him around all the time, am i obsessed? I don't think so. Just really in love with him. I wish that he could just cuddle and sleep with me every night. I'd be a lot happier falling asleep in someone's arms. I love / hate stumbling upon words that make you go "woah" and make your head rush with nostalgia, realization or wonder. I like the point when you finally realize that one chapter has ended and a new has began. It's sad, but it gives you some peace of mind. Putting on new dresses and clothes makes me feel like a princess. I like winter hats. My hair is tangly and needs a trim. My body's in pain from the cold (and possibly, pms). I want to be warm, and cuddly and giggly. I'm exciteed for the week of no school thats coming very soon. I'm definitely going to catch up on sleep and spend more time with the fambam in la. And of course my boyfriend! I have no homework this weekend. It's amazing. I really hope tomorrow will be good. Barbeque at Danielle's. Gonna be a good ending to the weekend :) Hopefully, I don't cry tomorrow. Cheer up =D

p.s. That's what really happened.

Baby It's You

Can somebody explain to me
Why everybody is trying to be
Living like a celebrity doing what they see on MTV
Ice is cool but I'm looking for more
Simple things is what my heart beats for
I don't ask for much
Baby having you is enough.

You ain't got to buy nothing, its not what i want baby its you
We don't got to go no where, its not what i want baby its you
Its not for what you got, i know you got a lot
No matter what you do, your're always getting hot
Its you, its you, baby all i want is you.

It don't matter that your car is fly
And your rims are spinning on the side
And it don't matter where we go tonight
Cause if I'm with you it'll be alright
That's cool but I'm looking for more
It's your love that my heart beats for
Don't have to spend a dime
Baby i just want your time

You ain't got to buy nothing, its not what i want baby its you
We don't got to go no where, its not what i want baby its you
Its not for what you got, i know you got a lot
No matter what you do, your'e always getting hot
Its you, its you, baby all i want is you.

**

I just can't make you love me.

Thoughts:

-I just want to spend the rest of my night watching all episodes of the O.C. I don't care how many people are annoyed by that show, i fucking love it.
- I'd have to say my favorite on screen couple would be Ryan and Taylor. Also, Seth and Summer.
-I'm gonna start straightening my hair again because it's always in a bun. I feel cuter when my hairs down and i have curled up lashes and rosey cheeks.
-Once i end this feeling of paranoia and I know for a fact i'm okay, I'll be on a mission to start new and make change in my life for the better
-So, no more blaming myself for situations I cannot control. No more feeling guilty for things that I have no business feeling guilty for. No more saying sorry for things I shouldn't be sorry for. No more feeling intimidated by people that don't even matter anymore.
-I need to find the fine line between "Nice Kc" and "Strong Kc" - They really are two different people.
-I sound like a schizo, but that's okay!
-I need to find positivity in everything that I possibly can.
-I want to smile for no reason, giggle for no reason and enjoy.
- It's been so fucking cold. Luckily I have the heater on high. Now it's like a fucking sauna in my room.
- Football game tmrw. Wish the boys luck :)
- Procrastination has a hold on me.
- I don't like it when my mom is out of town and she extends her stay in Canada for a longer period of time than expected. Now my dad is going to be lonely and even more cranky. He's going to blame most things on me.

**

'Cause I'm not your paper doll
You can't keep undressing me
I don't fit in to what you see
I won't fall just cause you're touching me
I'm not cut out for what you need.

The Morning After ft. Jess

If you found out that you were going to be a parent, what would you do?
KC: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Jess: -__________-

What does your most recent text message say?
KC: "Love you too! hmmm I'm sorry I'm hella horny." AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Jess: "Playing games but not like our kings cup!"

Do you currently have a crush on someone? Or any feelings at all?
KC: Yessss
Jess: Mhmmmm

What would you do if you walked in on your best friend having sex?
KC: MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH
Jess: O____O

Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your bf/gf?
KC: UHHH, no not really.
Jess: WTF ?!

What do you miss most about the past?
KC: A lottaah things
Jess: Nothing reallly

Did you kiss anyone this summer?
KC: Yess
Jess: Not that I can recall.

Are you listening to music right now?
KC: When will it be me
Jess: ^Saamme

Is any part of you sad at all?
KC: Noooo n_______n
Jess: Naah

Do you miss someone right now?
KC: Nope
Jess: Naaahh

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?
KC: Yes
Jess: Mhmm

Could you go the rest of your life without doing any drugs?
KC: Mmmm, dont know
Jess: Uhhhh, I dont know either

Which friend are you most similar to you?
KC: I dont know
Jess: I dont know either

What would be the first thing you would do with 100,000 dollars?
KC: An Iphone and alcohol
Jess: EVERYTHING!

Can you commit to one person?
KC: Yeaahh so far
Jess: As of the moment, nooo -__-

Are you a mean person?
KC: Yes
Jess: Duhh

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
KC: No, i told them not to text back. HAHAH
Jess: Yeah

How bad are heartbreaks?
KC: Worse than what people say
Jess: Bad enough

Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away?
KC: No, but I fear that
Jess: Mmm, guesss not.

Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?
KC: Ohyeaahh
Jess: Usually

Has a guy ever let you wear his jacket?
KC: Yeah
Jess: Mhmm

Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you?
KC: Boypreenndd
Jess: Cous Cousss

Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
KC: The fact I have school the next day
Jess: Practice -______-

Is your room ever clean?
KC: Sometimes
Jess: Not after the morning

Do you like being around a large group of friends, or a best friend?
KC: Depends on my mood
Jess: Either or

Is there a night you would like to put on repeat, and live it forever?
KC: I would put it on repeat but not live it forever
Jess: Mmmmm definitely but not the forever part.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater?
KC: Just Dominic
Jess: I dont recall

Have you ever asked a boy for advice?
KC: Yeah
Jess: Mhmmm

Are you ticklish?
KC: Yes
Jess: Only on the neck

How often do you listen to music?
KC: Quiet fuckin often
Jess: Always

Do you trust all your friends?
KC: Nope
Jess: Nuh huh

When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
KC: Sometimes
Jess: Usually

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
KC: Probably not
Jess: Doubbt itt

Did you say "f---" today?
KC: Yess
Jess: Mhmm

What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails ?
KC: Lips
Jess: His lipsss! MUAHAHAHA

Look to the left. What catches your eye first?
KC: Dreeaamm catcher
Jess: Bob Marley

What was the last thing you ordered at Mcdonalds?
KC: I dont remember
Jess: Double cheese burger & Coffee

Are you thinking about someone right now?
KC: Naahh
Jess: Naww

Would you introduce the last person you kissed to your parents?
KC: I already did
Jess: WTF? Noooo, nigga you tripping.

Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other?
KC: Yeah
Jess: Mos def

Can you ever see yourself and your ex back together?
KC: Definitely not
Jess: Nooope

If the last person you kissed, saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad?
KC: You have no fuckin idea
Jess: Umm, doubt it.

Are any of your close friends virgins?
KC: >=]
Jess: Mhmmm

What are your plans for tomorrow?
KC: School & Piano annnndd if I can make an appointment
Jess: Going back to the normal days -__-

Do you have anger problems?
KC: Yeah definitely
Jess: Moooss definitely

Why do you even have a MySpace?
KC: I figured it would make me more American when I moved here. HAHAHA.
Jess: Keep contact

How much money's in your bank account?
KC: 58 dollars
Jess: My piggy bank ? maybe 80 cents

you ever think that "lol" meant "lots of love"?
KC: Well NOW I DO!
Jess: No

Do you think someone likes you?
KC: Yeah
Jess: Mmmm, still trying figure that one out

you know anyone who has AIDS?
KC: Fcking hope not
Jess: I hope not

Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?
KC: Yeah
Jess: mhmmm

Are you hurt about anything right now?
KC: Noo
Jess: As in my back & legs, suuuree.

Have you ever thought someone died when they really didn't?
KC: No
Jess: Noo

When was the last time you threw up?
KC: On ralph's birthday
Jess: Friday night/Saturday morning -__-

Would you rather be given flowers or chocolate?
KC: Flowers
Jess: How bout those chocolate flowers? AHAHA

Do you have a long term or short term memory?
KC: Long term memory loss right now
Jess: Sammeeee

What can you hear right now?
KC: Silennccee
Jess: Saammmee

Do you use the word 'epic' daily?
KC: Well, last night was epic
Jess: I WILL NOW!

Do you remember who you had a crush on in the 7th grade?
KC: -______-
Jess: Not at all

Do you care if your bf/gf drinks?
KC: Nope
Jess: Nahhh breh

What was the first thing to annoy you this morning?
KC: The gospel songs
Jess: The radio

Is there anyone you couldn't live without?
KC: I can but i dont want to
Jess: Mmmm, i'll get back to you on that.

Have you ever dated someone you weren't even attracted to?
KC: Yeah
Jess: Uhh, yeah

If you could change one thing right now, it would be?
KC: The fact that it's Sunday
Jess: Mmmm, same

Do you like to make the first move?
KC: Never
Jess: When I'm intoxicated, yeaaahh

Looking back did you ever waste your time on a certain boy or girl?
KC: Yeah, definitely
Jess: -_______-

Is life good?
KC: Life's amazing
Jess: HELL YEAH

When was the last time you stared at someone and wanted them dead?
KC: Friday
Jess: Uhhhh, Friday ?

your hair longer than your shoulder?
KC: Yeah
Jess: Mhmmm

Do you like to walk in the rain?
KC: Hate it
Jess: Not exactly

Do people asking you too many questions in a row bother you?
KC: If they're stupid questions
Jess: Not when it's King's cup! Muahaha

Do you like looking up at the stars?
KC: Yeaahh
Jess: Mhmm

Like anyone?
KC: Yeaahh
Jess: -___- Mhm

Last missed call?
KC: Mom
Jess: Her mom

Can you honestly say that things are running smoothly for you?
KC: Hell yeah
Jess: Eugh, can't really say.