Song(s) Of The Day

Melt With You by Modern English
Honey and the Moon by Joseph Arthur

Kudo to life and it's chapters.

It's kind of sinking in now that after next month I will be done high school forever. I'm reminiscing a lot lately; thinking about last year, the year before it, the year before that and perhaps even the year before that. It's weird, you start off being a little runt in the beginning of high school. In my case, with hair that was the same color as my face, then with spikey-'emo' hair, then bleach blond lady gaga hair, and the horrible eye makeup that made me look, well, like a little hoe. My ideals were completely different. I wanted to grow up too fast. I experimented with lifestyle choices much too many years in advance for my naive little thirteen year old self; I was a piece of shit. Then slowly, throughout the next few years, I found my spark. I went through a lot of ups and a lot of downs, lost, gained, witnessed sickness, health, infatuation, love, lust, betrayal, drama, boredom. I met specific people who I'll never forget and some that I'd pay money to forget, all while maintaining a specific Monday - Friday routine within the walls of a high school where I never really felt like I fit in, completely.
Though, I hate to say it, but a part of me wishes I would've given high school the chance it deserved when I still had time to enjoy it. Oh well, I guess it's better in the end that I'm better now, as opposed to being a good younger teen and a shitty, destructive older one.
I can't believe it's over soon! In September it'll start all over again. I'll feel like a small fish in a big pond with new people, new choices, new ideas, new life lessons, new mentalities and a new start.

p.s I haven't been this positive in a really long time. I like it.

Song Of The Day

Stole My Heart by Annie Little and Marcus Ashley

Song Of The Day

I'll Kill Her by Soko

Update: just listened to some of her other songs. I'm in love.

Secret #24

I always thought FTW was WHAT THE FUCK backwards. Only a month ago did I learn that it actually meant FOR THE WIN. durrrr

I'm feeling smart, talkative, and bored.

One day, swear to god, you'll learn how to be the same person in every situation you find yourself in. Yes, It does kinda sound possible and you think you have to morph and change and pretend and shift in every different situation you’re in- depending on the person you’re with: but it’s not true. If you're lucky (and by lucky i mean- if you grow up), you'll know who you are and be able to walk into any room and bring yourself with you- and not be scared. you'll be truly developed and 100% in your own skin. So, even though people and situations might bring out other sides of you, you won’t be a fake. because at the core, you will be the same person and solid in every environment you enter.

TURTLES

**

Life is for deep kisses,
strange adventures,
midnight swims and
rambling conversations.


p.s I want summer

Dear parents,

Hey, here's a fucking thought. You have a seventeen year old daughter who's had self-esteem issues her whole life and has worked her ass off for years to the point she's at. All she really wants is the same things as everyone else: good friends, a supportive family and a lovely boyfriend. You know that a lot of her "ruttish" behavior starts when those simple aspects get imbalanced. YET, you have nothing but NEGATIVE comments to say to her. I've been TRYING so HARD to make myself a more positive, happy person. CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE THIS?! How about fucking throwing a compliment my way once in a while instead of making me feel like shit? That'd be fucking remarkable. Oh, and stop beating around the bush because it just makes you sound even more like a DUMBASS.I'm sick of this shit. Fuck you. YOU guys are the reason why I have no back bone. I've depended on you guys so much that I can't think for MYSELF. I just want to be happy, but when I'm around you two I want to SHOOT MYSELF. Do me a favor and back off. I love you guys, but you two are constantly getting on my case for the stupidest reasons.

Thanks.

Quote Of The Day

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."