Katherine needs:

to stop playing games, for her own good.

to know what she really wants.

to stop being so goddamn needy.

to stop hitting her boyfriend when she's mad.

to go dress shopping.

some time to herself.

some time with other friends that she doesn't regularly hang out with.

to stop thinking about it.

to stop being a moody bitch.

to get her life on track.

to study for SATS.

to stop complaining.

needs to understand that it's high school and shit happens.

Secret #19

Cannot be told to anyone.

09/24/09

Thoughts:

- I hate having a stuffy nose
- Fame tomorrow with Camille.
- Fuck, still gotta practice pianoooo.
- I hate how i always stretch out my hairties. I need to thin out my hairrr.
- You know, I often wonder how I get myself into such intense situations. Maybe, if I listened to signs and people yelling at me, I'd get some useful information through my thick skull.

- Sorry by Marie Mena is beautiful.
- Also, Ordinary Day by Emilie Mover
- I think i've finally let go of what's happened in the past. Thank you for making me realize how much of an ass you are and how much I should appreciate what I have now.
- Sheila Wesa needs to stop being busy. I miss her.
- I need a job. holy fuck.
-I think my future goal is to play the role of Elpheba in Wicked. I want to be painted green and sing all those super powerful songs >=]
- TGIF tomorrow. hahahah.

p.s I miss my best friend, rei. We haven't had a real conversation in a long ass time. Fucker

**

Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs,
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you,
You don't care a bit, you don't care a bit.

asdlgkhadsg;klh Random Post Alert

I seriously feel like the people I shouldn't be getting close with are the ones who are extremely caring for me when the ones I want to be close with are the biggest assholes in the world who take me for granted. I'm fed up. I'm at the point where I don't give a fuck about what I do anymore. Let it be.

Not a lot makes me laugh anymore; but you did.

You intimidate, yet fascinate me. You're simple to talk to, yet I never really know what to say. There's so much I still don't know about you and vice versa. One thing’s for sure. I love you.

Secret #18

In All Honesty,

Suppressing my feelings for you was an okay process, but YOUR own feelings still affect me so much and it's difficult to get over them. I wish I didn't care about you so much, but i do. It hurts to know that you say you'll wait for me, but what exactly are you waiting for? I'm sorry about not being able to do anything about how I feel, but I only see you as a friend. I love you, but in a much different way than I love him. I'm actually IN love with him. I feel horrible for what I've done because never would I ever want anyone to lead me on as bad as I did to you. I should have told you the truth from the start. I guess I just didn't want to lose you and the affection you gave me. It's obvious we both know what we tried to forget isn't completely behind us yet. We BOTH got what we wanted at one point, although, I know you're still not satisfied, but I can't do anything about that anymore...I'm head over heels for him and I've never felt so happy with a guy before. He's definitely the highlight of my life, and I won't risk losing him.

I'm sorry.

Wicked.

Is soooo amazing that I plan to watch it again. It ties in so well with the story of the Wizard of Oz, like a puzzle! I suggest you go find where it's playing in your location and watch it!


Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try Defying gravity
I think I'll try Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down! <3

**

Cramps are a pain in my ass.

Thoughts:

- My cramps are somehow making me dizzy. I'm in desperate need of midol.
- Autumn, autumn, autumn!
- I have no regrets moving to Cali. Now I can go back to Canada and fall in love with it all over again.
- If my blog were ever to be erased, it'd be equivalent to a long-term relationship ending.
- I really want to visit Thailand.
- It's time to get my license. No, let's start with getting my permit.
- It's weird when boys come to me and ask me how they should break up with their girlfriends. I always give them the worst answers, the answers I generally get when people break up with me, ahahahahahaha.
- I can't accept compliments, nor can I accept criticism. It pisses me off.
- There is no one holding me back but myself. I'm stopping myself from being great because I'm afraid that if I reach my full potential, it still won't be good enough to be somebody. It'll crush my dreams.
- Wicked the musical this Thursday with the parents! Yes, I'm fucking stoked. I'll probably blog about it once I get home.

**

Life doesn't give you the people you want. It gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to love you, to leave you, and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

Secret #17

I know for a fact that things are going to change this year. I believe it's for the better, even though it won't seem like it at the exact moment...