ROFL

In all honesty,

fuck, i am just completely in love with him. And I'm happy.

The Way You Love Me

I have a bad day
I don't act right
Get up under your skin
I know it ain't right
How I ask you
To give up everything
Boy just stop what you're doin' and come and follow me around
Baby, thank you for the second chances
And everything you did to help advance at this
You put up with my shit
Help me to be my best
Boy you really got it goin' on

**

Oh please just, let me please break down.

Sometimes I feel like I'm always trying to get better, but at the same time everything against me is getting worse.
I'm sick of being let down. I'm trying so hard to start fresh, but every time I create a new blank canvas for myself, it gets black paint splatter on it before I can even begin to paint a masterpiece.

I guess I have to just keep trucking along, trying to be better, smiling no matter what and learning from all the shitty experiences I go through. There really isn't another way, is there? It's not like I can just give up

In all honesty,

I feel like at one point in time I was the center puzzle piece in a jigsaw puzzle. Everyone that I loved and was close to fit around me perfectly. But just like all jigsaw puzzles, pieces get lost, torn, bent out of shape. I feel like a lot of the puzzle pieces around me are that way and we just don't fit together anymore.

Anyway, that's my analogy for the day. I'm gonna go get ready for Aida

Bright Eyes

So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone. And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow. But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself, it's best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or a simple song of hope. And that's why I'm singing, "Baby, don't worry, cause now I got your back. And every time you feel like crying, I'm gonna try and make you laugh. And if I can't, if it just hurts too bad, then we will wait for it to pass, and I will keep you company through those days so long and black. And we'll just keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve, of Love's uneven remainder, our lives are fractions of a whole."

**

Is a risk really worth the love?

02/28/10

Thoughts

- I feel like I have a lot to do. I don't really, I just haven't started so it feels more overwhelming than it is.
- Online prom dress shopping = Exciting
- I miss my sisters and brother! I need family time ASAP
- I keep wanting to dress like it's Spring / Summer. The sun is deceiving. It looks warm and beautiful until I step outside and realize that it's not as hot as i think it is.
- Getting my ass back in gear at school.
- RAAWR, I wish I didn't procrastinate so much.
- I really like how happy I am lately.
- I'm pretty sure Vancouver is going to feel a wave of post-Olympic depression come next week.
- I've realized that no matter what, you're never going to please everyone. Someone's always going to judge you whether you like it or not. Someone's always going to be jealous of you. You're always going to be jealous of someone else. I've realized that it doesn't matter how fortunate one is in life (financially and materialistically speaking), work fuels everything. All you gotta do is try your best to find common ground. And if you can't, life goes on.
- I've had my fair share of lying, cheating, dumping someone, and being dumped. It's nice to know that I'm passed that nonsense.
- I hope you had a good day.

+

I want to go sit in the sun. I want to feel the ocean breeze in my hair. I want tattoos. I want to get a job. I want to drink ice tea. I want CLU to love me and accept me (that is of course after I audition). I want to be successful. I want bronzed skin. I want to get my permit. I want to be covered in flowered dresses everyday. I want new boots. I want chunky, pretty jewelry. I want to become a better artist, a better person. I want to eat and live healthier. I want to go to a concert. I want to make a trip somewhere nostalgic.